My Favorite Color is Rainbow

Author: Jessica DeRuiter RN, BSN

Hello all! My name is Jessica DeRuiter. I am a nurse, wife, and the mother of two young boys. One of which was diagnosed with autism when he was 18 months old. This blog is the story of our lives, struggles, and steps we took to overcome them.

Hello all! My name is Jessica DeRuiter. I am a nurse, wife, and the mother of two young boys. One of which was diagnosed with autism when he was 18 months old. This blog is the story of our lives, struggles, and steps we took to overcome them.

I was never a user of substances, I did not drink alcohol regularly, and I never smoked cigarettes or did any illegal drug. I was only pregnant for three weeks when I found out, so I had early intervention and began to take multivitamins right away. I immediately quit drinking coffee and pop, increased my water intake, and stayed away from all foods that were highly processed or suggested to be omitted during pregnancy.

I tell you all of this to make you aware that autism is not something that should be looked at as your fault as the mother or father. I did everything right during and after my pregnancy. I never missed a prenatal visit and gave my child a great start in the womb and after. Autism is not something that could have been prevented or avoided, and we are proof of that. It is not a curse, nor is it a punishment from a higher power. I believe it is the opposite as we have seen many blessings through our child. God created him for me, and me for him.

Any diagnosis can be heartbreaking and confusing, especially when it involves a child. The beauty of it is that there is power in the name of Jesus. When you give love and believe in your child, they too will begin to believe in themselves and can overcome great trials.

Autism is not fully understood, but one thing that scientists do know is the autistic brain has much more electrical activity present than a non-autistic brain. Autism begins in the womb and affects the life of the person; there is no cure. There is actually a movement of research against the idea of a cure with a focus on acceptance and education.

As an infant, I noticed Harvey did not look at me as he should. He seemed uninterested in my facial expressions and sounds-- he did not laugh or giggle and rarely cooed as babies should. I knew he could see and hear as he passed his medical screenings and would follow me with his eyes. He just wouldn’t respond appropriately emotionally. He lacked social skills.  Thus began our journey.

I diagnosed him myself as I knew and saw the signs of autism. He had to wait for an official medical diagnosis when he was 18 months old so that we could qualify for services like speech therapy, occupational therapy, and early intervention programs. Of all the programs we tried, nothing worked as well as the things we did with him at home, which I will share with you here.

The trick was to find a way to communicate through things my child enjoyed. I had to meet him where he was at and ease him outside of his world and into mine. So many people would describe him as “being in his own world” to me, and it used to make me angry to hear them say that. I felt they didn’t understand him. I wanted him to feel included and wondered if he too thought he was segregated as others saw him. As he gets older, I see that he does and has felt that way.

The process has not been easy, and I feel as though I have lost my old identity and have created a new one. I no longer am the person I once was; I am Harvey’s mother, his teacher, and his best friend. Rainbows are our favorite color, and we are journeying this world together and both learning to see it in a new light.